If your relationship has ended in divorce, that doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be over for good. With some time, persistence and your willingness to take some steps to rebuild and improve, you could be successful in your effort to win back your ex-wife. Before you text or call her to ask her out so you can win her back, it’s best that you first explore your personal motivations.
Why do you really want her back?
If you can identify where things started to go wrong and what might be necessary to fix them, and after all that, you still truly believe that your relationship is worth it, then proceed with a clear conscience. If, however, your relationship was unhealthy from the start or involved serious breaches of trust, you may want to seriously reconsider the possibilities of getting back together. But if you are sincere about wanting to win back your ex-wife, these 6 steps may help:
Tell her how you feel – If you ever want a chance to win back your ex-wife, she has to know your intentions and why you believe your relationship can be rebuilt for the better.
Clearly and gently state your case and the steps you are willing to take. She needs a reason to give you another chance, especially if she’s still hurt and is experiencing feelings of distrust.
Admit mistakes – Even if your breakup was “technically” your ex-wife’s fault, relationships are a two-way street. When they fall apart, both parties are usually to blame. So admit your mistakes and explain what you’ll do to restore her trust in you.
Listen to her –You may find that, even though your ex-wife isn’t all that interested in getting back together, she definitely has plenty to say about what went wrong. Or on the contrary, you may find that she has been feeling exactly the same way. In either case, listen to what she has to say and take in her suggestions and criticisms with understanding.
After all, if she didn’t care, she wouldn’t be taking the time to explain her feelings. However difficult it may be, don’t go on the defensive, and don’t interrupt her. Your mission here is to listen to her and understand what she has to say. If you want to get back together, it’s important to learn her point of view so you can learn how she wants to be respected.
Give her some time – If she asks for some time to process what you’ve said, give it to her. While it might seem like a great idea to try and romance her with cards and flowers, don’t, at least not right away. And don’t decide for her how much time she’ll need to figure things out. After all, she is taking what you have to say very seriously or else she wouldn’t have asked for time to think things over.
Work on yourself – One of the best things you can do to win back your ex-wife is to demonstrate your willingness to become a better partner. Do not change for her, but take steps to be the stronger, better and healthier person you know you can be and want to be. Do this by working on personal changes you’d like to make, such as going back to school, getting a better job, working out, or being a better father and more considerate husband.
Take it slow – If your ex-wife does agree to try and work things out, go slowly. Do not expect to repair a damaged relationship overnight. Carefully work through each issue you need to address together. Take her out on dates and learn to enjoy each other’s company again.
Even if you are unsuccessful in following the steps to win back your ex-wife, making a genuine effort can give you the closure you need to move on that the court proceedings didn’t provide.